Friday, July 20, 2007

Happy Birthday...

to me! ^_^

and it was celebrated with an earthquake! Yay! I was sleeping when all of sudden I felt that my bed was shaking....Not even sure what time it was...wasn't really sure weather it was only a dream or real, then I fell asleep again.

My mom texted me early in the morning :)
a couple of my co-workers wished my a happy b'day this morning :)
got a cute b'day card from my friend :)

and...
got an email with a b'day wish from someone, who I didn't expect at all! :))
and another person, who I thought would have forgotten about it, called me :))

smiling.........
I am happy now. Thank you God!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

The only thing that is constant is change

It's getting closer to my birthday, and somehow I wanted to stop for a moment and write a few things.

"sigh"
I feel so absurd. Lots of things happened since last year. I never really have any birthday wishes for myself...maybe a cake when I was little. In these past several years, sad things happened around the month of July, so I stop to wish for anything because I was too busy to force myself to move on.

Last year, perhaps a good one. I just started my job for a few months, everything seemed so new and exciting, I felt so many opportunities. Nice people to work with, great company, passion to learn new things...
I had my birthday dinner with some people from the choir (they cooked for me!). I remember that my heart was aching last year, cause something unexpected happened around end of June. But I moved on.

This year, people had gone. Everything changed. Like someone at work had said: "The only thing that is constant is change", even sad, I can't argue with that.
I lost my good friends from work and I miss them so much. I lost someone too, though how could I say that I lost something if I never have it?
Everything seems so political now at work (or maybe I just finally realized now as I immersed deeper and deeper). Another year almost gone by, and I still feel so unsure. I am still hurt - I know I'll be fine, but I will need time to heal myself. And move on to continue my journey to find God's will.

Deep down in my heart, I stopped wishing for "cake" and started wishing for a happiness. This year, I'll wish for the same thing.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

headache...heartache

headache....I think I drank too much...
heartache....though I have no tears to spill...

This is life, this is my life. A tough one, and always forces me to fight. No mater how tired I am...So many times I think, I have enough. I have no more energy to continue on....Even until now I am still walking in the dark and keep falling.

Again, I must say goodbye to the past, and I will take all the memories because it's only that I have now.

Then move on...trying to open a new chapter (again) and wishing I can finish it with a happy ending this time.

Powered by Blogger