A!!!!!!!!

I got an A!!!!!!!!! And it's my textile class, yei!!!!!! *screaming and jumping like a crazy person*....hahaaa....
My color and design class only got A-, and actually I was expecting another A, huhu....I guess that he's not really in love with my shoes.....Now only one more that I am still waiting, and I'm not really expecting the big Ace for this one.....
But...phew! So far I am getting a nice reward for sacrificing my weekends....

Yippy!!!! Yei!!!!! Yuhu!!!!!!Yippy!!!! Yei!!!!! Yuhu!!!!!!Yippy!!!! Yei!!!!! Yuhu!!!!!!

Cowboy boots and getting worried

2 things:
First, I HATE those cowboys boots now!!!! I mean, not that I really dislike them, and some of them are kinda cute, but they are not what I want right now, I want just a pair of regular boots: knee-high, pointy toe, plain black leather, and kitten heel. But everywhere I go, all I see just those cowboy boots! Phhrrffff.....they are getting really popular now, and everywhere on the street are wearing those now, guys and girls. Sigh, I guess I am not getting my new boots this year, have to wait until the cowboys boots gone. And as our prediction, they are not going to be disappeared next year, so, I have to wait until 2007?? Phewwww.....

Ok, enough about shoes. Err...actually, I don't need another pair of shoes, do I?

Now, the second thing, I am getting worried. Jan 13 will be the last day (and my 3rd anniversary, of being Columbus), and if I was feeling fine, now I am not. Specially since some of my other plans are not working as they are supposed to be....What will be next? Breaking my piggy bank? Sure, that will always works...or, going back to my first adventure. Dunno....can't find the answer now, as always, they are hiding somewhere....I am playing peek a boo now, trying to find the answer of my life...And sometimes, it is scarier after you find out the anwers.

Not much that I can do, except try my best, and, pray....

Ouch!

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! I really miss....err....him? Weird, and dunno what to do anymore, only to keep telling myself to be patient....Poor me, for falling again.....Yeah...I still have a heart eventually, but it feels so darn uncomfortable now....

Ouch....ouch...ouch.....

In memoriam

Tsunami a year later...in memoriam for those who died....
and for those who lost their beloved families and friends.....

Time is flying by, but some wounds will never be healed...

Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Today is Dec 25, 2005. Just got back from the Indonesian Christmas Mass. The choir was pretty good, got a new song that I think I like it (Jeff was doing a good job…wink wink…). Got so stuff today, and also yesterday at my sis place, been eating every minute…well, I guess this holiday is time for me to repair my nutrition….I barely had anything to eat in the last several months, lost almost 7 pounds…..or maybe it was also because the deep thought that I keep carry on….yo no se….I feel fine with my body weight actually, and actually losing 7 lb is ok cause I know I gained about the same in these 3 years. But somehow lots of people look at me with very concern look, and thinking I am having kinda anorexia…hoho…not at all, I am still a big eater, trust me……

Btw, I am writing with MS Word now….can’t connect into my internet…..damn the rain….I can’t catch the signal during the bad weather. But I feel so much eager to write…so here I am now, writing a piece of my thought, again. And hope I can log on soon….

Oh…yeah…got complain from 3 people about my blog. Well, my dear friends, first of all, this is really not a diary, I mean, this is not where I write about what happens in my life on a daily basis. Not also for poems place….lol….This is a place where I can write my thought, my confusion, my worries, and what I feel. So, it is okay to not understand my blog, cause I am really not expecting anybody to understand, hehehee……. I just feel that I need “a trash can” to throw away all my thoughts. Having a pensieve will be better actually, however, seems that only Dumbledore has it only (Jeff…sorry can’t explain more as you never read Harry Potter, you got to read it first ^_^)

So anyway, lately been kinda, err….dunno how to describe the weather, it’s been a crazy raining everyday, but the temperature is not really as cold as the usual winter. So, dunno whether or not I should complain about it, though I prefer to have an overcast weather: no sun, no rain: that will be perfect.

Hm….thinking about the weather, how I want to go to the ocean during the stormy and raining day…to stand on the beach, to see the big waves come to the shore, to see how “angry” the ocean is….to see how wonderful and strong the nature is….and finally, to realize, how small we are on this earth…..

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Peace!

Psst…I can connect now, but it’s really freaking slowly! Feel worse than dial-up 

Catching up my Christmas spirit

Finally! After chasing the time for almost 6 months, well, not really, it was only 4.5 months to be exact, I am done! My fall semester is done done done, and so far I only know my grade for 1 class, thanks God, it's an A (and yeah....who would thought that I could fall in love with sewing...). I can guess the second class, but the other 2, hell no...and I am crossing my finger though...


Well, good to have free time again. We (STM) went for caroling to Alma Via tonight (it's a senior house), and I feel so sad everytime I see those wrinkle faces...My parents (who will be like them also one day, or maybe soon?) are not here, and I have none of my grandparents anywhere on this earth. Can' help myself thinking about: where I am going to be when my parents turn to be like those Alma Via resident, am I going to be able to be on their side? And, where am I going to be when I turn 70, 80? Will I still be alive?


So I am happy that I was able to bring a little bit of happiness in their aging days....and maybe someone will bring me back those holiday spirit to me when I am old...way way older than now. After all, Christmas is all about love, joy, and share.


Then I guess, I am not really losing my Christmas. As always, it is coming too fast (and faster than last year). I read someone posted an email from Voxmail, and it seems I am not the only one who's loosing the Christmas spirit (cliche' reason: busy, always too busy with work, with school....etc etc etc....), but I am still able to catch up the spirit right on time now. Only 4 more days to go....

Cintailah Cinta

I know this song for a while actually, but just recently realized that it has a good lyric.

CINTAILAH CINTA-Dewa
Tuhan anugerahi sebuah cinta
Kepada manusia untuk dapat
Saling menyayangi
Bila kebencian meracunimu
Takkan ada jalan keluar
Damai hanya jadi impian
Kita takkan bisa berlari
Dari kenyataan bahwa kita manusia
Tempatnya salah dan lupa
Jika masih ada cinta di hatimu
Maka maafkanlah segala kesalahan
Cintailah cinta
Bila kamu bisa 'tuk memaafkan
Atas kesalahan manusia
Yang mungkin tak bisa dimaafkan
Tentu Tuhan pun akan memaafkan
Atas dosa yang pernah tercipta
Yang mungkin tak bisa diampuni

The answer to my question

Funny how sometimes you got your answer in a lightning struck ^_^

But, now I don't have to wait in another 4 weeks because I have already known the answer. Still, don't know how to feel...I even thought I was dreaming. But nop, yesterday, Dec 15 2005, was so real. One side, I feel I can breathe now. On another side, I am still unsure about: what next? Maybe I'll laugh later (one who laugh the last, will laugh hardest), or maybe I'll even cry....

Anyway, at least I don't have to make any decision, as He has done it for me. So I will still say thank you to Him. And I know You are listening now, please, abide with me...and I know I will be fine.

Top 20 Voted Drinks

1 Jungle Juice Mixed Drinks (3.1)
2 Green Apple Martini Cocktails (3.0)
3 Martini - Standard Cocktails (2.9)
4 Hunch Punch Punches & Party Drinks (2.9)
5 Grateful Dead Mixed Drinks (2.8)
6 Mojito Cocktails (2.8)
7 White Russian Mixed Drinks (2.8)
8 Wiki Waki Woo Mixed Drinks (2.8)
9 Kahlua Mudslide Cocktails (2.8)
10 Monkeys Lunch Mixed Drinks (2.8)
11 Pamela Mixed Drinks (2.8)
12 Bloody Ceaser Mixed Drinks (2.8)
13 Rusty Spike Shots, Shooters & Slammers (2.8)
14 Bushwacker #2 Mixed Drinks (2.7)
15 Cosmopolitan Martini Cocktails (2.7)
16 Mind Eraser Specialty Drinks (2.7)
17 Whisky Sour Mixed Drinks (2.7)
18 Top Shelf Margarita Cocktails (2.7)
19 Chocolate Martini #2 Shots, Shooters & Slammers (2.7)
20 Singapore Sling (Original Recipe) (1) Mixed Drinks (2.7 )

****Mine is #2 ^_^ (remember, drink responsibly!)

Getting to choose

Have you ever wondering why you would never be satisfied with everything in your life? I do. Cause recently, well, about several months ago, I prayed and prayed, and I wished for one thing that I thought will complete my life. Now, I got it. I have it (lets say it as A) , and then, eventually (yeah...like always, life is all about choice), I have to choose between A, and B. But I don't want to choose, I want to keep both of them. I am not ready to lose B now. To be honest, I am scared. Can I survive without B? Maybe I would...but as I told one of my co yesterday when I met her on the train after my class, very often we all got too convenience already. B, though not stands for "Best", but at least, it's giving me my current life. And A, is what could be my future....or maybe even not cause I am getting more and more unsure about it.

The point is, I hate everytime I have to choose: I consider myself not really good in taking decision. I always need guidance, signs, or whatsoever. I still can't see any of that right now, but I am running out of time. Only about 4 more weeks till I have to decide and make my way.

I just hope, when that time comes, I will make the right choice. So I don't have to turn my head back to my old path and not to think about any single regret....

hik...hik...hik...

duhhh!! I miss Nathan!!!!!!!!

Christmas season note

Trying to step aside from my creepy workload....

I've been thinking and wondering lately, and I have told all my closest friends about how I feel right now. And they all told me back that I need to be careful and be patient. I guess they are right. All of my relationships so far, they were all such a rush train. Meet 1st, date #1, date #2, date #3, and boom! As I looking back now, there's a certain pattern about my relationships in the past. And, maybe, if something started wrong, will end-up wrong.

And now, I guess, I still feel blessed that I can have this feeling again. Almost, I thought, will never fallin again. I had loved someone in the past, and when I got hurt, it was the time I thought my heart has turned into freaking-ice-cubical.
So even now I still don't know what will happen between us (and who could read the future anyway), even though I can't be with him, but looking at the positive way, He has touched my heart and made me realized, there is love. My friend said, falling in love at Christmas time, just like Sleepless in Seattle. But for me, falling in love at Christmas time, made me realize what a wonderful season it is. Time for joy, share, and love....

And I think, no matter what'll happen, I won't have a blue Christmas this year.

What kind of candy are you?

I'm a Gummy Bears Candy :)

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

My kinda shoes

This was made (by me!) actually about a month ago, one of my class-project. This was mostly like re-designing project -shoes and box- and though the first time I wasn't really sure, it turned out to be good, not that I like it, even my teacher said he really likes it (hmm...my handsome teacher...hahaaa....) and he is still holding my shoes until now ^_^

An even day

This morning was extremely bad at work...people put more and more things onto me, another moment for being a slave...

But tonight, I got 2 very nice surprises....2 phone calls (although still unsure...but I'll dare my self to put some hopes....) The first one is a hope for not being a slave anymore....and the second one is a hope for my heart to smile again.

So, if I can't sleep well tonight, that's because the good news, and not because the bad ones.
I will smile for a loooonnng hours tonight....And I'll call today as an even....

Ade...thanks so much for your suggestion, thanks and thanks a lot sis....