Moving or not moving, that is the question

Sunday afternoon, daylight saving time ends.
Wow! I am surprised knowing there are actually some people who really read my blog. Hmm...I didn't realize that I put such a "hot topic" on my last writing, but eventually I got some great comments! Well...but there is something I have to clear about. First, the idea of moving to LA is indeed very tempting (with Disneyland and Magic Mountain!!), but the reason is not because I have a broken heart, or anything to deal with love. It is pure because I want to search a better life. Career and school are included, but romance is excluded ^_^
I had broken hearts before, and it was really killing me (fyi, that was before I moved to SF, that was even before I moved to US). But I survived, and now I start my life again as a new one. As I was reborn, I realized there are so many things more important than romance. I still believe in love, of course, the everlasting love, and I am still waiting for the right one. I find someone great now, but we have so many doubts about our future. Yet, it is not what I concern right now. I have to "fix" many other things first in my life.

So, I made up my mind. If I want to move to LA, it is because I want to have something better than what I have now. I don't want to run away, not from anything nor anybody. And, definitely, it is all pure about me try to follow my dream.

Anyway, I just got back home from St Mary's Dinner (I still wonder why they call it as dinner instead of lunch because it was started at 1.30pm). This is a charity; we (from Indonesian Catholic Community) came to St Mary Center in Oakland, cooked and served the lunch for the senior and homeless people. It is good. I like doing something like this, makes me grounded to life...makes me realize so many things that I can thank for in my life. And, makes me realize how life is not just about loving between a couple, but also, loving as a human being.

So! Move or not to LA? I start make some plans now, search some jobs in LA, and make some back-up plans too. I just want to have "something" better, if it happens to be here, it's good. If it happens to be in LA, that's perfect. I can't say anything now...just try my best in everything.

Wish me luck!

Happy Halloween

Friday!
Today we had a costume contest for Halloween day at work....it's kinda a cool actually, the first winner will get $100. Wow! It's good. Too bad I didn't have any mood to participate. But people at work really dressed up, very interesting. Maybe next year I can dress up like a charming devil, you know, like Elizabeth Hurley at Bedazzled ^_^

Well...anyway, today was good to cheer me up a bit. I've been very disappointed lately. Is it really my faith that I can't pursue my dream? Though, I don't want to believe it. So far I've been fighting and fighting...I don't want to just give it up. But I dunno, should I really move to LA and start over again? Should I bury my hope and my dream for a better life? Should I and should I.....so many questions I can't figure out right now....

Happy Halloween

I met a crazy old lady today

I went to FIDM this evening after work. And finally I knew what should I do, I had to do somekind a short essay. Well...the topic was not really hard, I decided to write about "Things are not always what they seem". Reminded me with my GMAT essay...hehehe...I think I did it not really bad...I hope, other wise I have to take the English Competency and have to take out another couple grand...sigh...it is not easy for me to afford this school...Well...but I dunno, I really want to take it...so I'll just go after it. Whatever will come later, hopefully I can work it out...

As I went back home and waited for my train (which I skipped my Spanish class again), I didn't know what happened, but barely I heard an information, told us that there was something with the rail, and all trains got delay. As the result, the train that I took was so packed!! My my...I was standing almost the whole trip, being squeezed from all directions. Oh well...And...there she was, an old Asian lady (I think she's Chinese), and she was mumbling all the way...well...actually, it was pretty loud. You can tell right away that she's not...well...umhh...she's crazy. But somehow, even though I felt disturbed because of her mumbling out loud I couldn't keep my ears from hear it. So, she was talking about everything, the building that we passed, the street...as if she's a tour guide. She was talking about the house's history, or what were there before they built it. Well...I don't buy it of course, but...she speaks in good English, though still with the Asian accent, so I was thinking, what happened to her? Have you ever wonder why people got crazy? Now I feel sorry for her...she's old, with the white hair, alone in this big city...sigh...I hope she can survive...

Why Do People Like Throwing Others Into The Pool?

Recently, on my friend's blog, I read how she survived from being thrown into the pool...

Gosh! Still couldn't believe how come people have this crazy idea? I know some people do this in my home country, but I am really surprised how it is actually a big tradition for people here (somebody just confirmed about it). I don't understand. They said it's to celebrate. By making a stupid joke? I don't think so.

About a few months ago, my roommate was graduated from her school, and you know what, her friends (and also my friends) had a farewell party for her, plus a special gift: threw her to the pool, 3 times!! I wasn't there, but as soon as I heard about it, I really got mad. If only I was there, maybe I can try or stop them, of course, with consequence I will fight with them. But I don't care. I will stand up straight, against what I dislike. However I still don't get it, why people could see the fun of it?? It's dangerous (could be even serious: one of my other fellow just got hurt, her friends dropped her accidentally when they carried her to the pool, she went to the hospital for some minor injuries, but still had to stay for several days there). And my roommate got several bruises. So? What's the fun of that? What's the fun of hurting other people? Yeah...yeah...probably they will plea that they don't intend to, that the "hurt" part was just an accident. But after that, they will do it again, and again. So? After all, I still don't get it, I still have this question inside of me: Why do people like to throw others into the pool?

A little story

Weekend!
Finally! Hmm...Actually I started to write yesterday but had no time to finish it. We went to see Motorcycle Diary last night, it's pretty good, I kinda like it this time. Although I still barely understand (it's a Mexican movie), but I could catch some words. We also went to Costco in the afternoon, but didn't buy anything, I guess I'd better buy it in supermarket. I need just a small amount of maple syrup, not a big giant bottle for the whole camp. Hmm...I want to make some apple pancakes tomorrow, well...if...I still have my mood...hehehe...lot of times I just lose my good mood, and just prefer to spend my day in bed rather than get up and do things ^_^

It will be a busy weekend, remind me I have to prepare my oral test for Spanish class on Monday. Also I have to prepare a bit for FIDM essay (?) whatever it is. I still don't have any clue. Well...I guess it will be an essay about my purpose, or my future plan with FIDM, etc. Probably...oh yeah, I still have to finish my project..hmm...nice project actually, I wish I can do that for my everyday job and working as a buyer....

Just got an email from Lala, hmm..so I have to go to St Thomas tomorrow...well...I am excited about the choir, but I don't know, I hope it won't be an exclusive choir. But maybe I can stop by at Stonestown tomorrow before I go to St Thomas and get some applications.

Saturday noon. Ikin just called again this morning (after called me at 4am yesterday, this time he did it the right time...hehehe...) It's raining again. Just had my brunch. Nice weather to sleep actually. Naa...Got to do my laundry, and study, plus prepare some songs for tomorrow. Well...this means I am not going tonight to Mudika Night, maybe it's better for me to have an extra night to do my stuff...and I am too lazy to drive to St Clara. Unless I can get a carpool. We'll see.

Ok. Have to face my Spanish book now.

Naturaleza Muerta

No ha salido el sol y Ana y Miguel ya prenden llama
ella sobre el, hombre y mujer deshacen la cama
y el mar que esta loco por Ana
prefiere no mirar los celos no perdonan
al agua, ni a las algas, ni a la sal
al amanecer ya esta Miguel sobre su barca
dame un beso amor y espera quieta junto a la playa
y el mar murmura en su lenguaje: Maldito pescador! Despidete de ella
No quiero compartir su corazon

y llorar, y llorar, y llorar por el
y esperar, y esperar, y esperar de pie
en la orilla a que vuelva Miguel

dicen en la aldea que esa roca blanca es Ana
cubierta de sal y de coral espera en la playa
no esperes mas nina de piedra, Miguel no va a volver
el mar le tiene preso por no querer cederle a una mujer

Incluso hay gente que asegura que cuando hay tempestad
las olas las provoca Miguel luchando a muerte con el mar

y llorar, y llorar, y llorar por el
y esperar, y esperar, y esperar de pie y llorar
y llorar sobre el mar ...

Just me... 

Lunch time

Lunch time!
My today's menu is better than yesterday, I bring some ravioli and ham....:)
This morning is not raining, but from the ground and my car that are all wet, I guess last night was raining. Autumn is here now, esta otono. Sometimes I wish I live in a place that has the real four seasons. So I can see the leaves turn to brown, and snow is falling down....And here I am, still in SF, the city with fog. La niebla.
But why am I complaining anyway? Since the fall is here anyway, now I can wear my long coat again...and my high knee boots. And I just bought a new pair of black boots. Hooray!...I do love autumn, and it will be better when winter comes. Holiday is coming....it will be my second Christmas here. I still do not really care about Thanksgiving, well, don't blame me, I am not accustom with that. But Christmas will always fun, it's the most wonderful time of the year, loving, giving and sharing. Maybe I can start some of my Christmas projects now, and start looking for gifts. Soon it will be 2005, times are really flying by, almost 2 years since I've been living here.

Checked on my cell, there was a missed call. I supposed it was from Ikin. Hey...you said you would call me at 10pm, not 4am in the morning? Maybe he is still in trouble to convert the time difference. And, hmm...somebody just sent me a text message, oh...how I wish I can hug you too, but I got to be strong. Got to let it (or him?) go....If you can not hold it, you just got to let it go....

Winter in Seattle

In Seattle, my uncle's backyard, January 2004. Can you see the snow was falling?

chocolate for lunch, or after lunch?

I guess the weather really turned my appetite down for going out and get something. So, my lunch menu for today was Indomie...hey..it's a new flavor and it was pretty good. So, I still have my butter finger. Someone from my Spanish class yesterday started a Halloween earlier and brought a bucket full of treats and candies. And Andrea's parents just dropped by in our office and brought a big giant Cadbury's. Well...temptation is too strong....and I always love chocolates....so maybe I can start my postre now.

rainy day

Wow! Couldn't believe now I am writing my blog! Hmm...my first day of this journal is not a fabulous day, well, this morning was a darn so wet, it was raining hard, and a crazy guy driver (even though it was dark yeah I could see the driver is a guy) almost hit my car! Well...thanks Lord I was able to brake and my baby car didn't get hit. Got to be really careful driving in the city...even though it is not as crazy as my hometown, still, I have to be patient to all crazy drivers out there. I still wish I can find a way to report the reckless driver, but I only have the license plate number.

Hey...I just checked the weather forecast, it's gonna be rain for the whole week. Oh well...goodbye sunshine....